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Will He Or Won’t He – A Sarri Saga

Hello and welcome to another edition of ‘Will he or won’t he?’. I used to call it Chelsea news and transfer gossip, but those days are long gone. Right now all eyes are on the Sarri situation and Chelsea’s increasingly slapstick efforts to pry him out of his Napoli contract.

After days of frantic rumour-mongering about Sarri’s inevitable arrival, there is still no resolution. Antonio Conte still remains in-charge, holding his pre-season training programme in one hand and one-way tickets to Turin in another. The latest we have on Sarri is that the matter has been entrusted to lawyers to sort it out. That pretty much means we’re done dealing with De Laurentiis and his silly demands. And in case you don’t remember, Chelsea’s pre-season training officially begins on the 9th of July. We have exactly 5 days left to come to a conclusion, one way or another.

Now, on to the good news. Barcelona have been watching Willian and they appear to have been impressed with his ability to strategically place emojis in Instagram photos. So much so that they are willing to pay top dollar for his services. Chelsea do want to sell, but only for a price around the £70 million mark. Barcelona’s first bid which was closer to £56 million was rejected by Chelsea, but both sides are still negotiating. Are Chelsea trying to get Willian’s long-time admirer, Jose Mourinho, to get involved in bidding for the Brazilian? Perhaps. If that does happen, Chelsea could – and should – try their hardest to get Anthony Martial included in any deal, even if that means accepting less money. Barcelona, wise to this fact, have also offered players of their own – a choice between Andre Gomes, Paulinho and Rafinha. No laughing at the back, please.

Meanwhile, Chelsea are also keeping an eye out for Lyon’s Tanguy Ndombele. A cursory look at a few of his YouTube compilations suggests he might be a good buy. More as we get it. Oh, and Aleksandr Golovin is definitely coming to Chelsea. You know why? Because his mum said so, that’s why. In an interview to the Russian press, Mama Golovin all but confirmed that her son is on his way to London, which is good news for us!

Now all we have to do is wait and see who greets Golovin on his first day of pre-season training at Chelsea. Will it be a grumpy Antonio Conte? Or will it be a beaming Maurizio Sarri, taking in the fresh London air after the lawyers won his freedom in court? Most likely he will be welcomed by a customer service robot who will ask him to wait for an eternity outside Cobham before the manager for 2018/19 is revealed. Much like the rest of us, then.